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Thursday, December 20, 2007

planes, trains, and automobiles

Posted on 2:18 PM by fjtrfjf
watching an airplane go by
Watching an airplane go by

Needless to say, I've lost that innocent wonder of those large, metal bird-ish machines. Or perhaps it's not the bird-ish things themselves, but the bureaucracies that tame them.

You've seen Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, right? I think it's about time for a sequel, starring Aeromexico as the main antagonist.

Back in July, we purchased tickets to fly to Roatan, Honduras tomorrow. Last night, Aeromexico called us and told us that our flight had been canceled. What?!? You're telling us this 30 hours before we were planning to leave for the airport? Oh yes. We'll fly you there tomorrow instead. All you have to do is beam yourselves to Mexico City within the next 7 hours. WE LIVE FOUR HOURS FROM THE AIRPORT, AND THE LAST FLIGHT TO MEXICO CITY HAS ALREADY LEFT!!! Oh. Well then. We'll see if we can get you on a flight on Saturday. Let me see (type type type type ... endless typing ...) No, we're sorry, that flight is full. You need to get us to Honduras! Both of our families will be there and, without us, it's sure to become a tropical version of National Lampoon's Christmas vacation! Type type type ... okay, we can fly you to another city in Honduras on Sunday. Oh, why thank you, benevolent ones. Okay. You're all set, you just need to pay us now. WE ALREADY PAID YOU ... !@^($!@#%@#!!!!! Oh no. You just reserved. We had your complete credit card information but we just didn't run your card. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!? Oh - by the way, this flight was canceled on September 21st and we just never told you. IF DANTE COULD CREATE A MORE NEFARIOUS CIRCLE OF HELL ... Okay, because I realize that my life would most certainly be in danger if I were talking to you in person, I will not charge you extra money for this ticket. We think we should get a discount, because you are, after all, eating away our vacation days, you unfeeling bureaucratic automaton. The same price. Whatever.

Meanwhile, the beleaguered soon-to-be-travelers call up a Honduran regional airline to buy more flights from this "new" destination, Tegucigalpa, to the island of Roatan. Content to actually be arriving in Roatan on Sunday, the aforementioned future travelers retreat to their bedchamber, weary and $250 poorer.

Calling Aeromexico this afternoon: Um, hi ... we just wanted to verify that we have a flight from Mexico City to Tegucigalpa on Sunday. That's not possible. We don't have a flight that day to Tegucigalpa. !@^#(@#^$!!!! YOU AUTOMATONS ARE INSANE!!! WHO CREATED YOU?? No, the flight you are reserved on is going to San Pedro Sula (the original city.) Oh my. Oh my my my. Okay, thank you, you ever-so-helpful and cheerful bureaucrat.

That's where our story (hopefully) ends. We were able to get the regional airline to change our tickets and fly us to Roatan out of San Pedro Sula instead.

Must. Lay. On. Beach. I just hope that come this weekend, no more flights have been canceled!
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